Searching for Light

How much ever I hide

 It keeps haunting me

Now-a-days I act very smart ignoring it,

I keep telling myself I’m strong,

I’m not weak anymore,

Yes, I could hold for quite long,

But, not very long as I expect,

From the same old pounding heart,

And gasping breath…

I badly want to rewind my story,

Just six years back,

And pause there forever…

I wish I still get a call

To ask me whether am I ok,

Whether I had my dinner!

I wish I still can hold the tender hand,

And continue those night walks,

I wish I still can listen to the songs he sang,

And keep dreaming my future with him…

But he abandoned me in the darkness,

With no scope of light!

I am still groping for a hand,

To pull me to the light,

How could it has been so many years now?

The sad part is he doesn’t even know

He is my first love!

When he is happily married and is living far away,

How could I even tell him ‘I miss him’?

I know the truth – the love is no more!

But, why do I search him in every man I see?

The more I search the more I’m disappointed,

I am not able to find him,

In past six years,

Some days I act I am alright,

I am happy alone,

But some days (like today)

I couldn’t hold back my tears…

 How much ever I cry my eyes out,

I scream my heart out,

Once lost is lost!

Bing Bong

A friend whom I give all my space,

Whom I never want to get rid of in this lifetime!

I made him in my childhood,

With all my favourite colours,

With all my favourite animals’ furs,

With all my creativity,

With so much fun!

When I grow,

He never grows,

Never leaves me alone,

Laughs out loud for everything

With his cute cotton-candy big belly,

Gifts me with new imagination,

Keeps my fear and disgust at bay,

Takes me wherever I wish to go,

Shows me whatever I wish to see!

When I was lost once by my wrong choice,

He found me back,

Now, he is the bestie and my only bestie,

 Whom I can be naked,

Without any social etiquette,

Without any external pressure,

Without any prejudice,

Without any mask,

Without any colour!

He has never fumbled with choices,

His only priority is me,

And I choose him to be my only priority too…

But the scary part is:

Out there,

Many grown-ups grow killing

One such lovely friend they created,

But I will be lost if I lose him,

I beg him not to leave me,

‘Bing Bong, Please never fade away,

Take me to the moon!’